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Every Conversation Ignites Change

QwikPCM enjoy

QwikPCM

Copyright (c) 2024 by KCO Group Ltd

How it works?

Dive into the personality and communication toolkit that spotlights six distinct personality types within us. PCM is your guide to the language of motivation and the dance of stress, helping you hit the right notes in every conversation for harmonious human connections.

    Practice PCM in four steps:

  • 1.

    Know yourself Identify your needs to manage stress and self-care effectively.

  • 2.

    Observe others Understand their actions and words to grasp their preferences.

  • 3.

    Adjust your approachTailor your communication to connect authentically.

  • 4.

    Enhance connections Improve interactions in all settings for better relationships.

Copyright (c) 2024 by KCO Group Ltd

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Tips to Understand App Functionality

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  • 1.

    Select Type by swiping left and right

  • 2.

    Touch circle to open selected Type

Copyright (c) 2024 by KCO Group Ltd

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Tips to Understand App Functionality

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  • 1.

    Swipe left and right between topics of the selected personality

  • 2.

    Swipe up and down to read topic

  • 3.

    Touch circle to close the topic

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Copyright (c) 2024 by KCO Group Ltd

Explore....

 

Overview

 
  • Demonstrate caring, harmonising, and comforting behaviours.
  • Possess an innate desire and capability to give to others.
  • Skilled at building connections and communicating with people.
  • Relationships with family, workmates, or friends are crucial.
  • Require a loving environment and yearn for unconditional acceptance.
  • Seek sensory stimulation.
  • When not feeling loved or appreciated, they may engage in self-sabotaging actions, exhibit victim-like behaviour through self-deprecation, and become disoriented.

Overview

 
  • Task-oriented and self-starting.
  • Focused on obtaining facts and data and having a structured plan to accomplish tasks.
  • Possess the ability to think logically and analytically and to categorise information.
  • A causal problem-solver.
  • Require recognition for their accomplishments and achievements.
  • Need structured time and plans for projects and life.
  • If not adequately recognised for their hard work and achievements or if unable to manage their time, they may become overly controlling, criticise others for unclear thinking, and display heightened frustration and anger.

Overview

 
  • "What you see is what you get", energetic and free-spirited nature.
  • Leverage creativity for problem-solving and excel at thinking outside the box.
  • Adept at relishing the present moment and living in the "now."
  • Learn best through hands-on experience.
  • Thrive in stimulating, playful environments and interactions.
  • When not having enough contact, they may turn negative, resort to complaints, often retort with "Yes, but..." responses, and may harbour vengeful feelings.

Overview

 
  • Easy-going and often have a calming effect on others.
  • Possess the ability for introspection and associative thinking.
  • Externally motivated by specific tasks or directives rather than proactively taking the initiative.
  • Have the capacity to persist with monotonous tasks.
  • External stimuli inspire their thoughts or ideas, which may not always correlate with the immediate task at hand.
  • Require "alone time" and engage in solitary activities to reflect.
  • When not provided with sufficient solitude, they may begin to withdraw.

Overview

 
  • Values, opinions, and perseverance are essential.
  • Strongly believe in missions, often aiming to make the world a better place unconditionally.
  • Demonstrate loyalty, commitment, and principles.
  • Internally motivated and dedicated to assisting others in achieving their goals.
  • Striving for meaningfulness.
  • Require acknowledgment of the significance of their hard work, commitment, and convictions.
  • If they feel their convictions and work aren't valued, they may become preachy, challenge others' beliefs, or exhibit self-righteousness and distrust.

Overview

 
  • Action-oriented and streetwise.
  • Possess the ability to be direct and firm, ensuring things happen.
  • Enjoy challenges and competitions.
  • Aiming for primacy.
  • Maintain high energy levels and seeks immediate gratification.
  • Require lots of excitement in a short period of time.
  • If deprived of thrilling incidences, they may become manipulative and vindictive, leading to negative drama.

PCM Essentials

Perceptions, Character Strengths, Traits, Examples

Perception

  • Emotions - arise from personal experiences and feelings towards individuals and objects.

Character Strengths

  • Compassionate, sensitive, warm

Traits

  • The ability to foster a harmonious environment. Effortlessly bond with others and excel at forming and sustaining relationships. They genuinely prioritise others' well-being and are naturally giving. Typically, they are adept communicators.

Examples

  • "I feel..."
  • "I'm glad to see you."
  • "I care about you."
  • Happy, sad, love, understand, take to heart, sense (words that express feelings)
  • Touch, embrace, scent, mood, atmosphere, ambience (words that appeal to the senses)

PCM Essentials

Perceptions, Character Strengths, Traits, Examples

Perception

  • Thoughts - involve interacting with the environment by collecting and analysing data, drawing logical conclusions, and evaluating the consequences.

Character Strengths

  • Responsible, logical, and organised

Traits

  • The ability to think logically, categorise data and information, solve problems, excel in planning projects, and structure time efficiently. They are task-oriented, self-motivated, and take responsibility seriously.

Examples

  • "I think..."
  • "What are the facts/options?"
  • "The data suggest..."
  • What, when, who, where?
  • Information, numbering, data, enumerations, time, date, numbers, lots of questions

PCM Essentials

Perceptions, Character Strengths, Traits, Examples

Perception

  • Reaction - Reacting to individuals and circumstances based on likes and dislikes.

Character Strengths

  • Spontaneous, creative, playful

Traits

  • Ability to relish the current moment. Display humour without teasing. Outspoken. They excel in unconventional thinking and innovative problem solving, adopting a hands-on approach to learning.

Examples

  • "Luv it! That's great/fantastic/boring/horrible!"
  • (Authentic positive and negative emotions)
  • "That's yummy/gross!" (likes and dislikes)
  • "Wow/cool/awesome!"
  • "And it went boooooom!"
  • Onomatopoeia - buzz, sizzle, bang, smash, boom

PCM Essentials

Perceptions, Character Strengths, Traits, Examples

Perception

  • Inaction/Reflection - activated by explicit directions from external sources.

Character Strengths

  • Reflective, imaginative, calm

Traits

  • The ability for introspection foresight, and imagination. They respond well to clear guidance, value solitude, and are adept at hands-on tasks.

Examples

  • "Need to reflect..."
  • "Need my own space..."
  • "I imagine"
  • "Let me ponder on this."
  • Use of similes or metaphors to describe what they imagine

PCM Essentials

Perceptions, Character Strengths, Traits, Examples

Perception

  • Opinions - formed by evaluating people and things through an individual's belief system.

Character Strengths

  • Dedicated, conscientious, observant

Traits

  • The ability to offer opinions and judgments based on the question,
  • "How does life align with my values?" Such individuals are loyal, committed, and strongly need trust. They are mission-driven.

Examples

  • "What value do you see in this?"
  • "In my opinion..."
  • "I believe we should..."
  • "It's important that we..."
  • Respect, admiration, commitment, dedication, observation, tradition

PCM Essentials

Perceptions, Character Strengths, Traits, Examples

Perception

  • Action - Driven by experiences, situations and seizing opportunities.

Character Strengths

  • Adaptive, persuasive, charming

Traits

  • Ability to be decisive without taking offense. Energetic, independent, astute. Efficient in execution, seeks thrill and immediate rewards, and prefers hands-on learning.

Examples

  • "Enough talking, let's do something."
  • "Cut to the chase - tell me what to do."
  • "I got it; what's next?"
  • "Go for it!"
  • "Bottom line..."

How To Connect (Base)

Channel, Parts, Non-verbal Cues, Interaction/Environment, Examples

When Communicating with a Harmoniser Base

Use

  • Nurturative Channel: inviting the other person to feel cared for. Empathy, support, acknowledgement of the other person.
  • Tone: soft, gentle, soothing, caring, warm.
  • Base Harmoniser's Philosophy: "I support my people. Great relationships are the heart of great companies/teams."

Energise

  • Comforter: exude warmth and care - addressing the other person's emotions.

Non-verbal Cues

  • Warm, gentle, accepting and smiling expression. Relaxed and open posture, extending forward with palms up.

Interaction/Environment

  • Create team situations in which they feel comfortable.
  • Using their good communication skills, they get everyone else involved by encouraging and supporting them.

Examples

  • "Thank you for coming. I'm glad you're here."
  • "I remember the lovely music and soft colours used in that movie."
  • "I'm so sad to hear about your loss."

How To Connect (Base)

Channel, Parts, Non-verbal Cues, Interaction/Environment, Examples

When Communicating with a Thinker Base

Use

  • Requestive Channel: exchange of clear, crisp information or question/answer
  • Tone: monotonic, emotionless
  • Base Thinker's Philosophy: "Good data and logical thinking lead to better outcomes."

Energise

  • Computer: utilise requests and fact-finding to process information and synthesise ideas.

Non-verbal Cues

  • Expressionless, erect posture, few gestures.

Interaction/Environment

  • Foster one-on-one settings where they can concentrate on a task. Promote democratic group dynamics that drive goal-oriented decisions and team cohesion.

Examples

  • "What are the most efficient ways to approach this problem?"
  • "When was the last management meeting?"
  • "Is the fee based on the overall usage this month?"

How To Connect (Base)

Channel, Parts, Non-verbal Cues, Interaction/Environment, Examples

When Communicating with a Rebel Base

Use

  • Emotive Channel: offer an energising, spontaneous, non-teasing exchange to create a fun and non-threatening atmosphere.
  • Tone: energetic, enthusiastic, playful.
  • Base Rebel's Philosophy: "If you have to work, you might as well enjoy it!"

Energise

  • Emoter: exhibit a playful and spontaneous nature, engaging in light-hearted and spirited conversations.

Non-verbal Behaviours

  • Vibrant, energetic, twinkly, open expression. Relaxed, fluid, loose, elastic posture with animated gestures.

Interaction/Environment

  • Use an upbeat, nondirective style and allow them to explore their own potential.
  • Let them interact with many different people; they are motivated by external inputs and creative exchanges.

Examples

  • "Check out this AI image generation thingy! It's wicked!"
  • "Phew! It's so hot I could swim in a bowl of ice-cold lemonade!"
  • "Whoa, is this the new iPhone??? Shut the front door!"

How To Connect (Base)

Channel, Parts, Non-verbal Cues, Interaction/Environment, Examples

When Communicating with an Imaginer Base

Use

  • Directive Channel: give clear, unambiguous direction and time frames.
  • Tone: firm, non-critical.
  • Base Imaginer's Philosophy: "Good things, like fine wine, take time to mature. Rome wasn't built in a day."

Energise

  • Director: give clear guidance and instructions without condescension.

Non-verbal Cues

  • Smooth face, expressionless, erect posture, few gestures.

Interaction/Environment

  • Give clear, concise directions.
  • Then leave them alone to absorb the information and execute the task.

Examples

  • "Take a couple of hours by yourself to ponder."
  • "Reflect on that and tell me what you see."
  • "Imagine the possibilities."

How To Connect (Base)

Channel, Parts, Non-verbal Cues, Interaction/Environment, Examples

When Communicating with a Persister Base

Use

  • Requestive Channel: exchange of opinions and beliefs or question/answer.
  • Tone: monotonic, emotionless
  • Base Persister's Philosophy: "It's never wrong to do the right thing."

Energise

  • Computer: utilise requests and fact-finding to support value system.

Non-verbal Cues

  • Expressionless, erect posture, few gestures.

Interaction/Environment

  • Create one-on-one situations where they can focus on a task.
  • Allow for democratic group processes, which encourage goal-oriented decision-making.

Examples

  • "In your opinion, what is the best solution?"
  • "Do you believe this valuation is appropriate?"
  • "Can we trust their values match ours?"

How To Connect (Base)

Channel, Parts, Non-verbal Cues, Interaction/Environment, Examples

When Communicating with a Promoter Base

Use

  • Directive Channel: give clear, unambiguous commands and instructions.
  • Tone: monotonic, emotionless
  • Base Promoter's Philosophy: "C'mon everyone, let's do this!"

Energise

  • Director: meet at eye level, give assertive, clear and concise commands or directives without threat or attack

Non-verbal Cues

  • Smooth face, expressionless, erect posture, few gestures.

Interaction/Environment

  • Give clear, concise directions to execute a task.
  • Let them interact with many different people. They are motivated by as much external input as possible in a short period of time.

Examples

  • "The market looks bullish. Buy BTC."
  • "Sign on the dotted line."
  • "Check my calendar and send me an invite."

How To Motivate (Phase)

Psychological Needs, Sources of Motivations

How To Motivate a Phase Harmoniser

  • Recognition of Person: Embrace and acknowledge individuals as they are, without any prerequisites or performance conditions.
  • Sensory enrichment: Engaging with sensory experiences, such as aromas, sounds, flavours, visuals, and tactile sensations, not only offer physical pleasure but also rejuvenate the mind and spirit.

Sources of Harmoniser Phase Motivation:

  • Building and fostering close, supportive relationships.
  • Emphasising collaboration and teamwork.
  • Engaging in acts of kindness and mutual support.
  • Ensuring a safe and inclusive environment for all.
  • Fostering and nurturing friendships in professional settings.
  • Taking genuine interest in individuals' personal well-being.
  • Allowing room for growth by learning from mistakes.
  • Creating a comfortable and personalised workspace for everyone.

How To Motivate (Phase)

Psychological Needs, Sources of Motivations

How To Motivate a Phase Thinker

  • Recognition of Productive Work: acknowledge the quality of work, performance and achievements.
  • Time structure: be on time, have a plan/agenda/discussion item, give goals and time frames.

Sources of Thinker Phase Motivation:

  • Planning and executing strategic tasks.
  • Solving problems and finding patterns.
  • Delegating effectively to maximise skills.
  • Enhancing efficiency and time-saving.
  • Achieving and mastering new skills.
  • Teaching and mentoring others.
  • Observing the positive impacts of one's work.
  • Receiving appreciation and feedback for accomplishments.

How To Motivate (Phase)

Psychological Needs, Sources of Motivations

How To Motivate a Phase Rebel

  • Contact: frequent interactions with others, they like to be around animating, lively, fun people and things.

Sources of Rebel Phase Motivation:

  • Enjoying a laid-back and relaxed workspace.
  • Having the permission and freedom to wander.
  • Infusing energy and enthusiasm into team meetings.
  • Ensuring diverse tasks to keep the day interesting.
  • Promoting creativity through unique projects.
  • Championing individuality and freedom of expression.
  • Finding novel solutions.
  • Using breaks/lunch to have laugh and banter with colleagues.

How To Motivate (Phase)

Psychological Needs, Sources of Motivations

How To Motivate a Phase Imaginer

  • Solitude: allow for privacy and uninterrupted time without expectations.

Sources of Imaginer Phase Motivation:

  • Taking time for personal solitude and reflection.
  • Trusting that colleagues will reach out when necessary.
  • Valuing the importance of occasional quiet moments in a busy day.
  • Receiving clarity in tasks, expectations, and timelines.
  • Receiving clear directions from all, irrespective of hierarchy.
  • Having dedicated spaces or zones free from distractions.
  • Allowing for thoughtful contemplation before immediate action.
  • Enjoying an environment where patience is valued over haste.

How To Motivate (Phase)

Psychological Needs, Sources of Motivations

How To Motivate a Phase Persister

  • Recognition of Principled Work: acknowledge hard work and commitment.
  • Convictions: respect their beliefs, opinions or missions.

Sources of Persister Phase Motivation:

  • Clarifying values and setting direction.
  • Casting vision and shaping the future.
  • Making impactful work contributions.
  • Sharing and living with integrity and purpose.
  • Supporting and showing loyalty to meaningful causes.
  • Being trusted and sharing personal convictions.
  • Receiving feedback on one's integrity and influence.
  • Earning roles with increased responsibility and respect.

How To Motivate (Phase)

Psychological Needs, Sources of Motivations

How To Motivate a Phase Promoter

  • Incidence: provide a lot of excitement in a short period of time.

Sources of Promoter Phase Motivation:

  • Embracing unforeseen changes and circumstances.
  • Thriving in competitive scenarios.
  • Walking the fine line of thrilling risks.
  • Rallying collective effort towards a target.
  • Motivating teams to unite for a common cause.
  • Capitalizing on timely chances and finalizing agreements.
  • Leading the way in knowledge or action.
  • Empowering others to shine and succeed.

When Miscommunication Begins

Driver, Stress-Coping Symptoms, Example, Restoring Communication

Driver and Stress-Coping Symptoms

  • I have to please to be worthwhile.
  • Your early warning sign will appear as a compulsion to avoid conflict and keep the peace at any cost.
  • Speech becomes tentative and lacks assertiveness.
  • Sentences often begin with qualifiers, showing uncertainty.
  • Apologies become frequent, even when unnecessary.
  • Statements often conclude with uncertainty or second-guessing.
  • Decisions are avoided or delayed due to fear of upsetting others.

Example

  • "I'm so sorry to ask this question. Could you maybe repeat what you just said about the team development project? I feel a bit lost."

Invitation to Restore Communication

  • Use Nurturative Channel and Emotion Perception.
  • "We're so lucky to have you on our team. [then provide information]"
  • "I'm glad you shared your feeling with me. [then provide information]"
  • "It's ok to ask. I remember feeling like that, too when we started the project." [then provide information]

When Miscommunication Begins

Driver, Stress-Coping Symptoms, Example, Restoring Communication

Driver and Stress-Coping Symptoms

  • I must be perfect to be worthwhile.
  • Your early warning sign will appear as a compulsion to show how perfectly you can think.
  • Communication becomes overly detailed and lengthy.
  • Overemphasis on exhaustive explanations.
  • Delayed decision-making seeking perfection.
  • Seen as a perfectionist with delegation issues.
  • Need for validation affects professional relationships.

Example

  • "Personally, I think this project, which by the way, has been assigned to me by the CEO, is heavily underfunded, which might have an impact on the outcome - unless we do something about it ..."

Invitation to Restore Communication

  • Use Requestive Channel and Thoughts Perception.
  • "What are the top priorities for this project?"
  • "Can you explain your ideas about the project's timeline?"

When Miscommunication Begins

Driver, Stress-Coping Symptoms, Example, Restoring Communication

Driver and Stress-Coping Symptoms

  • I have to try hard to be worthwhile.
  • Your early warning sign will appear as your needing to make extra effort to think clearly.
  • Communication often falters, leading to expressions of confusion.
  • There's a noticeable reluctance to take charge or make decisions.
  • Avoidance behaviour, such as procrastination, becomes prevalent.
  • Humour is frequently used as a mechanism to dodge questions.
  • Over time, delegation becomes inconsistent, giving an impression of disorganisation.

Example

  • "Huh? What...? I don't get it!"

Invitation to Restore Communication

  • Use Emotive Channel and Reaction Perception.
  • "Don't worry, sometimes I speak fluent Gibberish. Let's try again!"
  • "Hold on, let me translate that from Geek to English."
  • "Oops." [make 'rewind' noises] "Let's rewind and play it with a bit more jazz!"

When Miscommunication Begins

Driver, Stress-Coping Symptoms, Example, Restoring Communication

Driver and Stress-Coping Symptoms

  • I have to be strong to be worthwhile.
  • Your early warning sign will be experienced as detaching from your thoughts and feelings, as if they aren't part of you.
  • Third-person language is used for self-referencing, like "It occurred to me."
  • Sentences become fragmented and difficult to complete.
  • Feelings of detachment and observing life rather than participating arise.
  • Indecisiveness and reliance on external cues for direction grow.
  • A tendency to withdraw can lead to perceptions of inefficiency and disconnect.

Example

  • "It occurred to me, ..., it might be better to wait."

Invitation to Restore Communication

  • Use Directive Channel and Inaction/Reflection Perception.
  • "Take the afternoon to imagine how to move forward."
  • "Ponder on this and tell me tomorrow morning what you envisage."
  • "Let that roll around your head and write down what the best course of action will be."

When Miscommunication Begins

Driver, Stress-Coping Symptoms, Example, Restoring Communication

Driver and Stress-Coping Symptoms

  • You must be perfect to be worthwhile.
  • Your early warning sign will appear as a compulsion to correct the imperfections in others.
  • Questions tend to become more complex and probing, demanding perfect answers.
  • Conversational tone shifts towards a demand for perfection.
  • Sentences frequently start with negative phrases.
  • A belief emerges that pointing out flaws is beneficial.
  • Focus shifts from positives to areas needing improvement.

Example

  • "Don't you believe it would be better to focus on this one project rather than spreading the budget over several, in my opinion, unimportant ones? ..."

Invitation to Restore Communication

  • Use Requestive Channel and Opinion Perception.
  • "What do you believe we should do?"
  • "Will you share your opinion with us?"
  • "What do you believe are the top priorities?"

When Miscommunication Begins

Driver, Stress-Coping Symptoms, Example, Restoring Communication

Driver and Stress-Coping Symptoms

  • You have to be strong to be worthwhile.
  • Your early warning sign will be experienced as an urge to make others more self-sufficient.
  • Statements often dictate feelings, e.g., "You know how it feels when..."
  • Tendency to replace "I" with "you", like "You come to work and give your best."
  • Cornering others: "What made you think...?"
  • A colder and distant tone is adopted.
  • Emotions are masked or projected as someone else's issue.
  • Employees might perceive a lack of support and teamwork.

Example

  • "You have to make the employees think that they have some power, so you can keep them happy."

Invitation to Restore Communication

  • Use Directive Channel and Action Perception.
  • "I challenge you to empower your team genuinely."
  • "You take the lead in this project. Tell me how you engage your team."
  • "Involve your team in decisions."

Dynamics of 2nd Degree Distress

Masks, self-sabotaging behaviours, Example, Restoring Motivation

Mask

  • Drooper: I'm not OK, you're OK
  • You will believe that others are worthwhile, and you are not worthwhile because you are undeserving.

Self-sabotaging behaviour (Make Mistakes)

  • Feeling sad, or unloved.
  • Showing a lack of assertiveness/self-doubt and thus inviting criticism.
  • Smothering people with support.
  • Acting like a victim, putting self down.

Example

  • "Oh, no, look what I've done! I knew it. I'm such a klutz."

Invitation to Restore Motivation

  • Don't focus on content. Feed the Needs for Recognition of Person and Sensory.
  • "It's ok. You are a wonderful member of the team. Let's go for a cup of..."

Additional Ways to Boost Motivation

  • Affirm person.
  • Spending time.
  • Permissions - It's ok to...
  • Sensory
  • Affirm character strengths (compassionate, sensitive, warm).

Dynamics of 2nd Degree Distress

Masks, self-sabotaging behaviours, Example, Restoring Motivation

Mask

  • Attacker: I'm OK, you're not OK
  • You will believe that you are worthwhile and others are not worthwhile because they are lazy, stupid, disorganised, and/or irresponsible.

Self-sabotaging behaviour (Overcontrol)

  • Frustratedly angry about fairness, money, order or responsibility.
  • Critical of others for not thinking clearly and not being on time.
  • Micromanaging people and projects.

Example

  • "Has everybody lost their brain in this office?!? Do I have to do everything myself to get what I need and when I need it?"

Invitation to Restore Motivation

  • Don't focus on content. Feed the Needs for Recognition of Productive Work and Time Structure.
  • "I appreciate the hard work you put into this project. Will you let me know your priorities and deadlines?"

Additional Ways to Boost Motivation

  • Affirm 'thinking' skills.
  • Affirm work productivity.
  • Validate efficiency.
  • Affirm the positive impact of character strengths (logical, responsible, organised).
  • Respect their time.
  • Give data to structure time.

Dynamics of 2nd Degree Distress

Masks, self-sabotaging behaviours, Example, Restoring Motivation

Mask

  • Blamer: I'm OK, you're not OK
  • You will believe that you are worthwhile, and others are not worthwhile because it's their fault that you feel bad.

Self-sabotaging behaviour (Blaming)

  • Blaming others, while being blameless/making excuses.
  • Negative complaining ('yes, but...'), whining
  • Vengeful - you're supposed to make me feel good, you didn't, therefore, I'll make you feel worse.

Example

  • "If it weren't for this stupid traffic, I wouldn't be late. It's not my fault!"

Invitation to Restore Motivation

  • Don't focus on content. Feed the Needs for Contact.
  • "Ah, those mischievous traffic lights must've been having a chat and lost track of time! They're such gossipers!"

Additional Ways to Boost Motivation

  • Kinaesthetic movement, real or imagined.
  • Humour is good, but not necessary.
  • Personifying ("The sock is lonely.")

Dynamics of 2nd Degree Distress

Masks, self-sabotaging behaviours, Example, Restoring Motivation

Mask

  • Drooper: I'm not OK, you're OK
  • You will believe that others are worthwhile, and you are not worthwhile.

Self-sabotaging behaviour (Withdrawing)

  • Starting projects but not finishing them.
  • Not experiencing being empowered to make decisions.
  • Feeling insignificant.
  • Pulling away, not asking for help.

Example

  • No communication.

Invitation to Restore Motivation

  • Don't focus on content. Feed the Needs for Solitude.
  • "Spend the break on your own."

Additional Ways to Boost Motivation

  • Direct solitude.
  • Permission to be alone.
  • Structure, not micromanaging ("I'll get you when it's time for the meeting").

Dynamics of 2nd Degree Distress

Masks, self-sabotaging behaviours, Example, Restoring Motivation

Mask

  • Attacker: I'm OK, you're not OK
  • You will believe that you are worthwhile, and others are not worthwhile because they lack moral character and don't care enough about what's important.

Self-sabotaging behaviour (Pushing Beliefs)

  • Crusading, being opinionated, showing righteous anger.
  • Verbally attacking others who don't believe the same / are not committed enough.
  • Becoming suspicious, developing conspiracy theories.

Example

  • "How can you be so careless?!? Do you believe rules are only for the others?! Unbelievable!!"

Invitation to Restore Motivation

  • Don't focus on content. Feed the Needs for Recognition of Principled Work and Convictions.
  • "You've done a great job implementing the safety standards. I'm grateful that you are concerned about my safety."

Additional Ways to Boost Motivation

  • Affirm convictions.
  • Affirm work that advanced values.
  • Validate conscience.
  • Affirm the positive impact of character strengths (dedicated, observant, conscientious).

Dynamics of 2nd Degree Distress

Masks, self-sabotaging behaviours, Example, Restoring Motivation

Mask

  • Blamer: I'm OK, you're not OK
  • You will believe that you are worthwhile, and others are not worthwhile because they are weak.

Self-sabotaging behaviour (Manipulating)

  • Setting up arguments, creating negative drama.
  • Breaking or ignoring rules.
  • Setting up unhealthy competition between people.
  • Playing 'cat and mouse' with others.

Example

  • "I'm going to do it anyway. I'm too valuable to sack. But if I were you, I'd be careful. I shouldn't tell you this, but the boss said you're on thin ice."

Invitation to Restore Motivation

  • Don't focus on content. Feed the Needs for Incidence.
  • "Let's see if you can pull this off without breaking any rules. I bet you can."

Additional Ways to Boost Motivation

  • Dare/Bet ("Bet you can...).
  • Healthy Competition ("See if you can beat your bottom-line.").
  • Telling a Secret ("You're the first to know...").
  • Special Assignment ("Not everyone could pull this off but...").